To one wise priest-monk

Writing this is a direct offense towards your very first tenet: have patience; take time. And yes, I’m generally indecisive and I teach people to postpone decisions to gather more information, but I also tell them to embrace whatever comes when there’s enough to conclude with.

And here I am, uncharacteristically concluding (for now):

1. We defy gravity together. Being with you makes me feel like we get to float up high, looking down at humanity and Truth like we could figure it out, even as we give room for uncertainties. I swear in some brisk moments, we might as well have. ‘Riveting conversations’ won’t quite do it justice.
   
2. You don’t try to fix me. You don’t pity me, don’t look at me weird. You just…let me be. In the past few months, I have encountered too many people offering pieces of advice, of comfort, all out of their kind heart and I have nothing to complain about. It’s just so refreshing to be with someone who just sits there without any agenda. You made me feel like I don’t need to be saved after all. Counterintuitively enough, I felt emotionally (and physically) held for the first time in a while.
   
3. I want to experience more of you. All of your quirks, your strong convictions. Your resolve about life, captured on a beautifully simple yes/no flowchart. (You should name it and fingers crossed it would stick on the wall so future generations can quote you for it.) Your commitment-cum-obsession to ‘not take up space’, even when it requires personal sacrifices.

I’m Bayesian by default so I will and have been updating this assessment as we go, but for this particular window of time the above rings true.

Please don’t mistake this as the beginning of a long and winding codependence—it’s far away from it. Writing this doesn’t beget expectations. I’m just a writer and writers have sticky thoughts that can only be let go through being written. This is me, trying not to worry too much (as the cat said), and just being honest. Cherishing rare connections, acknowledging them when they exist.

This is me appreciating—taking time while embracing.